some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
