i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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