you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
