My Higher Power is John Stamos
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
