I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
