Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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