She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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