Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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