perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize