Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
