singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
