Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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