Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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