k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
