remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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