she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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