thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
