using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
