dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
