I need help removing her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
