I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
