We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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