Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I just sharted jello shots
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