wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
