I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
