Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
