Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
