i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
