I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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