i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
