Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
