I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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