Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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