my sisters under your porch take her home
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
