Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
