I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
