I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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