I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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