So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
