The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
