i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
two words...techno handjob
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
