Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
