I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Say something about gay babies.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
