I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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