your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
