you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
