I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
