Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
