Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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