I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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