you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
