thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
