it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
