No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
