did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
