I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
