For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize