do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can't talk, ducks in the car
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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