we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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