its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my shit smells like andre
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
