This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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