butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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