I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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